She didn’t speak up for herself, she thought about everyone else’s feelings first before her own. Her voice was not loud and clear, it was low now and quiet. Her kindness had been used up on others and the obligation long outweighed what she wanted, deserved or needed. She was used to watching out and caring about what people thought and said. The voices of others had become a jury in her head. People who had criticized her, she now imagined their judgement. She had to learn how to uncondition. How to find her own thoughts, to trust a deeper knowing of her own internal language. The cues of her body, often silenced by her loud thoughts, her brain generated imaginations of the future and memories from the past from fear rather than from her curious, innocent, playful joy. The joy she once knew was quieter now, whispering, an inkling of what she once was. Not because it wasn't possible, because her joy was hungry and she rationed it. A thin slice of what she had once dreamed possible. Left in the corner, systemically deprived and tamped down into a pile of unfinished business. Odds and ends, the monotony of chores and adulting that were left in pockets and corners until in this house there was no space left in the living room. What about leaving room for living, what about the need for spacious love in this body? The splendor and cheer had been lost in the piles of daily living. What to do with the bucket list of life when the dishes seem to keep piling up, and the laundry becomes a sea of to do’s. How do you maintain balance and nurture and revive your joy and deep desire to truly live? 

I have a client who is a doctor. She has stories rich in blood and guts, she has sewn people’s parts together. Under her hands the torn tissues are mended. She describes how she has sustained her energy to keep going with the permission she is granted and the cooperative ritual of hospital procedure. Throughout her long career she has made it possible for many people to live after being on the brink of death. She has been driven and hard working ever since she was a kid, to be able to successfully put people back together again. After long hours for many days her fatigue is real, she works and works and now as she moves into retirement, working less and considering how to spend her time, she feels lazy. But is she really? Can this be called lazy? Or is it a need for deep rest? When she’s done working, she wants to rest and relax on her days off. As she gets older she is so used to going and doing, that she feels lackluster when she takes a well deserved break. She thinks it would be good to exercise and then can’t bring herself to motivate. In this lifetime of achievement, in the heart of transition she is meh about all of it.

As we look back on her life, she reflects on the reasons why she is ready for that rest. In times of pause and restoration, it’s good to cross off what's been done on the to-do list. In the transition between doing and not doing it’s important to recognize the work that you’ve done and remember to greatly appreciate yourself. Looking back on your successes and giving yourself the rest you deserve after years of serving others is invaluable. A deep sigh of relief with a job well done helps you relax even deeper. Giving yourself the grace that is well deserved helps you feel alive. It seems to be easier to give to others, and super important to give to yourself.

She is a mother of two and her husband became severely injured. In her job she takes care of others. At home, she takes care of her children. She talks about how there are always dishes to be done, landscaping to handle, laundry loads piled up and chainsawing to do. She speaks about her exhaustion, her lack of support and how active her mind is, so carried away with what she needs to do and so deeply tuned out to what she needs. Her kids seem to be in a loop cycle that in the prolonged illness of her husband has become unhealthy. There is a family dynamic that is in a tailspin that keeps negative feedback looping. It’s like that snake that is eating its tail. The cycles that keep turning up on themselves. The anxiety that builds with the exponentially growing to-do list and the burnout that occurs when one doesn’t take care of one’s self. She is so used to caring for others that her inner voice is in a low, almost silent whisper.

She knows how much she needs this, she needs time to explore herself and what she feels inside. Her compass needs to point true north. To her center, to her own body, to her inner voice, beyond what she expects, or feels powerless to control, beyond who she tries to be for everyone else. Beyond her roles as a mother and as a wife, deeper to the wonder of her inner creative source. To the spark of vitality and aliveness that offers her the energy she has worn too thin. When we start using the reserves of our energy our battery is on the brink of death. Don’t burn out, turn the light around to shine on the inside.

When you become so busy in production it is important to balance your life with self care as restoration. To nourish yourself in the purity of your own self exploration, observing the creative genius of your own experience. What is it like when you give yourself care, time to relax, time to take note of your accomplishments and direction towards your goals? To realize your worth, your deeper desires, your vast, sometimes untapped abilities. What’s it like to move towards your goals, to feel your body, to pay attention to your own personal journey and to take care of your beautiful life? What is it like to value yourself?

I am so grateful that I get to help clients find their voice, to help restore balance, to find center, to release tension and create freedom in their unique muscular fascial matrix. Fascial restrictions are responsible for pain, inflammation and immobility. Myofascial Release Therapy is gentle, safe and effectively releases the muscular fascial restrictions that can act like a straightjacket in the fabric of the fascia. If left untreated the cycle of dysfunction and disorganization in the tissues can cause damage to joints, can degrade bones and compress the spinal cord. Impingements to nerves held within the spinal cord and those that innervate the extremities like the arms and legs.

It’s so important for all systems of the body to have healthy and hydrated fascia. MFR efficiently treats the whole individual person. Angela is a Myofascial Release Therapist and Injury Specialist. She treats clients in Grass Valley at Sol Bodyworks. She treats clients wanting to recover from injury, accidents and trauma. She helps people get out of pain and back to doing what they love. She practices Presence Centered Awareness Therapy during sessions to support your potential and help you feel free and alive, creating space for you to thrive.